Last week, I travelled down to lovely Orlando to see my very good friend Linda and her partner, Pam. Florida was hot, sunny, humid and just perfect for getting out of Michigan’s cold, drab winter. It was great catching up with Linda and seeing her new home. She had had enough of Michigan’s brutal winter last year and wisely moved away.
Taking a break was cause for celebration. And yet, I felt anxiety about leaving everything behind – my routine that is, things I “need” to worry about, things I technically should get done, leaving the house I should be cleaning.
There’s a lot of “shoulds” in my life.
It seems that I schedule something for every moment of my day, from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. I work full-time while working part-time on a master’s degree. It’s a full load and when I’m in the middle of my semester, it’s like I put my blinders on, hunker down and put a laser focus on work and homework … and not much else.
After a while, this becomes tiring and the routine actually becomes addictive – having every moment of your day accounted for. I regularly watch the clock to see where I am in my day and what I’ve accomplished … and what I still need to do.
It was actually hard for me to let go of that routine and allow myself to have fun. I kept telling myself “Let go. Let go. Let go.”