“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” — American Buddhist nun Pema Chodron from her book, “Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”
Last week, I was feeling a little bit hangdog for making what I perceive as a blunder due to lack of communication. I’m in the communications field, for Heaven’s sake. Communicate, dammit! That’s what I’m telling myself right now.
I was feeling uneasy about myself, ashamed that a mistake took place, worried about the repercussions.
My sponsor Margo says that worrying about things is a way we feel we control them. And boy, do I love to control things!
One way I control things is trying to be a perfectionist. I try to control people, situational outcomes and the way people perceive me. One tiny flaw and the world is going all to hell!
